9-21-01
SCUM FUCKS! HOW THE HELL ARE YA! This last week has been fucked up! I'm sure every one out there feels the same. On a better note the show at Soda on saturday went surprisingly well. The place was packed, people were moshin', releiving all sorts of stress & what not. I want to take this momment to tell ya'll about our next show. It's called THE KINGPIN'S BANK ST. BLOWOUT! If you see some fliers that say "Big Bash" that's the same show, but trust me, the show is called THE KINGPIN'S BANK ST. BLOWOUT! The show features us & other bands such as the Rumblehouse, Orange Shade, Decadence, Seedlock, Android & a few others. The shit starts at 3:00 p.m. & The JoNZe hits the stage at 11:00 p.m. There's nine bands total & the tickets are $10 but you can get advance tickets for $8. We have those tickets, as do the other bands so if you need one hollar at us. In othe newz, there was a cancellation at club Soda & the Rumblehouse will now be headlining an all hip-hop show this saturday the 22nd! It's short notice but some of the other rappers have got some mad collage connections so it should be pretty tight. Come out & represent the Fat Stash crew! The Funky Chicken just stopped over & wants me to help him clean his funky-ass feet so like a slutty-ass whore's legs, I gots to split!

8-31-01
WHAT IT IS SCUM FUCKS! Sorry for the lack of updates but I've been a busy(lazy) mother fucker! The Owl & The Man moved into my place so the shnanagins are gonna be at level 10. I came home yesterday after a long hard day of bustin' my hump at work and found the Owl in his pajamas passed out next to pile of weed. In case you haven't noticed, we got our site changed to www.thejonze.com so the shit's official. For all of you kalamazooians, we're gonna be playing at Harvey's on sat. the 1st & Club Soda on sat. the 15th so come out & I'll buy drinks for you all night long! Unless the funky Chicken's hemeroids flare up. If that happens I'll have to buy him his hemeroid cream cuz his spends all his money on hookers & booze. I'd like to close this newz update with a list off some things I'd like to see:

A porno staring Bea Arthur with cameos from other golden girls.

Someone replace Dave Mathews with a Donkey & see if anyone notices.

The Owl get a job.

The Funky Chicken apply his hemeroid cream without getting a stiffy.

The Jonze get signed, or a free doughnut.

8-2-01
Hey, Hey, Hey! It's faaaat Albert! Just kidding, it's me, Stoo. I was foolin' y'all, them's was jokes! Just wanted to drop the bomb on our upcoming shows. 8/10 FRIDAY-CLUB SODA W/ RUMBLEHOUSE & CRESENT FOUR, There will be an after show poolside cook-out hosted by Phil-Z-Blunt and the Owl! come to the the show to find out where! 8/11 SATURDAY-VICTORY PARK, ALBION W/ JACKTOWN HUSTLERS & OTHER BANDS. the show starts at 3:00 p.m. The JoNZe hits the stage at 7:00 p.m. 8/14 TUESDAY-THE BLIND PIG ANN ARBOR W/ I AIN'T GOT A FUCKIN' CLUE (that's not a band name, I really don't know!) 8/17 FRIDAY-THE RICHLAND COMMUNITY THEATRE ALL AGES SHOW W/ A BUNCH OF BANDS (don't know the names) we'll probably be hittin' the stge around 9:00 p.m. 8/18 SATURDAY-CLUB SODA W/ FACTORY 81 & KURU ALL AGES SHOW this one is an afternoon show, starts at 3:00 p.m. them's the dates for august, hope to ya, peace!
7-23-01
WHAT UP SCUM FUCKS! This weekend was the shit, bout time! We started things off on friday by appearing on WIDR's It came from next door show with everyone's favorite DJ, the Crotch! We had to sit through some bogus band that sounded like the L.D.T.s, but it was still worth the trip. Nothing starts the week-end off right like spittin' at the Crotch! The show on saturday was off the hook. After dope-ass performances by the Rumblehouse &Orange shade, we hit the hot-assed stage and tore that mutha fucka up! Highlites were me not being able to remember how to play "Breeze" and the Man puking on stage. It's not a good show unless the Man yaks! Also, during the show there was this hot-assed girl standing in front of me dancing all sexy and givin' me mad eyes. I think she had a boy friend cause there was this pissed-off lookin' dude who kept comin' up & standing by her. If you are that girl, FIND ME! Your boyfreind won't find out, I won't say shit! After the show we partied our asses off, what was left of them anyway, at the after party. A good time was had by all. Stay tuned & I'll let y'all know when the next show is. Cya

7-9-01
What up! Not to much to report on, this weekend was stale as fuck. It started out on a bad note with the Owl, king of all parties, getting fired. Oh well, Stryker's loss is Burger King's gain! speaking of parties, I'm lookin' for some to try to distribute some fliers for the big soda show on the 21st. If you know of any in the k-zoo area tell us! I'm also looking for some fine ladies to donate their bodies to a greater cause. What greater cause you ask? Cause I need some skins that's cause! heh heh! So until next tyme, cyaz!

7-2-01
Hey Howdy mutha fuckas! This weekend was all about maxin' & relaxin' for the JoNZE crew. We just chilled and smoked the fuck out, playa style, at the Chicken's pool. The Owl, king of all parties, put his multi-social, blend-in-anywhere yet not really fit-in-anywhere skills to the test by trying, and sadly failing, to pick up some down-home country gals at the B93 country concert. Seeing that would have been a "hoot" but I was chillin' poolside. The Chicken's BBQ is on wednesday so I'll tell all the details of that extravaganza in my next posting. Untill then, Peace out!

6-29-01
Waas up JoNZE people! This is the first installment of Stoo Dawg's newz hound page. I will be keeping you up-to-date on everything and anything in THE JoNZE world. The biggest event for the month of july is the HUGE show saturday the 21st. at Club Soda. We're playing with two of K-Zoo's best acts Rumblehouse & Orange Shade. There will also be an after party at the ol' Century st. house that promisses to blow the fuckin' roof off the poor, non-electricity havin', beat-to-hell house. Also, The Funky Chicken is holding his 2nd annual 4th of july poolside BBQ. If you would like to do some grillin' or just see what it's like to witness the Chicken swim, then come and kick it with us poolside. Well, I gots to split. The Funky Chicken needs help applying his hemeriod cream and only the Dawg has the sensitive touch that he desires. Peace!